I am reading, researching, cooking, and looking to fellow weight loss bloggers for inspiration. I don’t want to do this again in a couple years. I want to look back next year and feel confident that I have made a permanent life change.

So I write this today, not because I’m freeing myself and asking anyone to hold me accountable, but because I’m hungry and I want to stuff my face, but it’s not dinner time yet. My BF can’t understand why I don’t want to go out to eat tonight, and because he’s skinny, can eat anything, and has no real attachment to food, he will never get it. So I’m writing this to get it out. Because I can feel a little hungry without having to cram something in my face. I put the dishes away, I started a load of laundry, I paced a bit. But I did.not.eat.

**How to find a built-in family when you’re not looking for one
**How to gain back 60 pounds you lost when you’re trying really hard to pretend it can’t happen to you
**How to suck it up and take a job you don’t want because, at 38, you finally have to be a grown up
**How to argue with a pre-teen, and win
**How to argue with a pre-teen, and lose

Oh, and so much more. Stay tuned.

This time of year we are trying to balance family time, menus, school vacations, and work schedules. How do we also make sure to fit in our regular workouts? I know it’s hard for me to maintain an exercise routine without the stress of the holidays! Never fear, Words to Sweat By is here! This small business combines humor, fun, and motivation all in a hand-sewn towel. My favorite is “10 More Reps and the Cupcake is History.” The designer, Whimsical Walney, has created 12 different mantras. You are sure to find one to fit everyone on your gift list this year. And did I mention the towels are super-affordable at only $9.95 each? No more excuses! Get your shopping done this weekend!

The shop recently added eco-friendly, reusable snack bags, too.

Find my favorite small business, Words to Sweat By on Twitter, too.

I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

But I want you to know that I will never hurt you. Your heart is precious to me. I take the responsibility of caring for it, for you, seriously. You can trust me. Always. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.

Cheerios® is giving you the chance to win a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, your ultimate family vacation. As part of a paid promotion for their “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, Cheerios® is sponsoring my post today about what my ultimate family vacation would be. Read mine and Enter the Sweepstakes for a chance to actually win your own fantasy family trip or one of a bunch of other great prizes.

I dream of a family vacation that starts and ends in Ireland with my parents, my brothers, our partners, our children, my aunts, and my cousins. We would all carry the spirit of my sweet, kind, funny, redheaded grandmother who always dreamed of seeing her father’s country one day. I envision a caravan of funny, little European cars driving through the Irish countryside, all of us shivering (as native Californians might) and delighting in the green, lush wonder. We will see Joyce’s and Shaw’s Dublin. We will stay in country bed and breakfasts, soaking up stories from locals, eating glorious cheese and butter and bread and beer. My mother will buy more sweaters than a California winter will ever require, and my aunt and father will watch quietly and proudly as their children experience what their own parents always wanted for us. We will learn more about ourselves in this short time than we might have in all our years together rushing through our daily lives.

Ireland. Grandma. Dreams can come true.

Don’t forget to enter the “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, for a chance to win your own ultimate family vacation. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

I still hate, hate, hate getting older.  I’m still unemployed.  I’m still confused about what I want to be when I grow up.

But I’ve gotten better, too, at understanding time charges ahead, no matter how much I hate that it does.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m thoroughly annoyed that I still feel like an awkward 12 year old rather than an awkward 38 year old.  But, well, what can I say?  At least 38 is a prettier number than 37.

black wedges, I will never leave thee

Vans, lil puppies, I'll never be too old for you

BCBG 4" sessiness. The End.

flower on top? these make me giddy

flip flops are my only flats

I only wear Havaianas

metal, basket weave, pewter. What else is there?

Chucks, I'll wear you when I'm 99

I love one of my dogs a billion times more than the others.

Looking at shoes and jewelry reduces my blood pressure markedly.

I drink too much, and I like it.

I have the libido of a 16 year old boy.  Or a 37 year old woman.

I’m a mean fighter.

I could eat Jif Chunky every day and still never have enough.

I think I want a baby.

I lack patience for complaining.  That thing I do incessantly.

I am missing the gene for producing fake laughs.

I love so fast and hard, I am starting to wonder if I know what love is.

Now, let me just say that I am far more judgmental of yeast infections that you might be.  I know who and what has been down there, and I know it’s been nothing, or anyone, dirty.  Well, it’s been dirty, but you know, not dirty.  But the fact that no matter what I do, latex, and a man’s parts make my hoohah go ballistic.  Baking bread.  Making muffins.  You know.  A motherfucking yeast infection.  But this rational explanation doesn’t help when I have to buy medicine for a dirty cooter, you know?

I really wanted to ask for jumbo box of jumbo condoms when she opened the case.  At least this way 19 year old simply thinks I’m getting the sexing.  Now she just thinks I’m getting the sexing from random dirty dude.  Right?  Because that’s what I think when I see you buy monistat.